I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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