did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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