Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
