Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
