Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
