Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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