im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The struggles of a small town man whore
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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