you have to choose: penises or morals?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
