...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
