my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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