I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
