Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
What a dumb baby whore.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Everclear isn't food dammit
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
