I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
