proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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