She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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