i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
