Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
