Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
