Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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