i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
