My friends, they love my intelligence
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
