You made me cry and you don't even care
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
