I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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