For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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