yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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