best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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