i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize