Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown

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  (269): Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown http://tfl.nu/j7bk
  Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (553)
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  (213): View more from California

  I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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  (213): I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg. http://tfl.nu/mbc8
  Replies (1) Good night (2173) Bad night (1058)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

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  (515): does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine http://tfl.nu/uuy6
  Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (515)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  there's paper in my vomit.

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  (604): there's paper in my vomit. http://tfl.nu/yer9
  Replies (18) Good night (910) Bad night (3189)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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  (703): its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out http://tfl.nu/sd1u
  Replies (22) Good night (553) Bad night (5090)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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  (907): she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit. http://tfl.nu/38x3
  Replies (31) Good night (700) Bad night (5138)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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  (561): hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger http://tfl.nu/hhlu
  Replies (18) Good night (3673) Bad night (1012)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6109) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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  (845): Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?" http://tfl.nu/78br
  Replies (12) Good night (547) Bad night (1936)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation

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  (941): Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation http://tfl.nu/t0q4
  Replies (15) Good night (1592) Bad night (500)
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  (310): View more from California

  I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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  (310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1368) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

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  (612): Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all. http://tfl.nu/jmi7
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.

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  (574): My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever. http://tfl.nu/qus4
  Replies (1) Good night (1120) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...

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  (910): Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history... http://tfl.nu/c2a0
  Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drink to make the karaoke go away.

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  (610): I drink to make the karaoke go away. http://tfl.nu/0jio
  Replies (6) Good night (807) Bad night (278)

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