Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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  (540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1013) Bad night (4543)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.

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  (440): i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends. http://tfl.nu/xfyh
  Replies (12) Good night (829) Bad night (4051)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.

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  (412): I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/4998
  Replies (41) Good night (1254) Bad night (4345)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

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  (516): I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs" http://tfl.nu/07qw
  Replies (18) Good night (6528) Bad night (1166)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Are you in a cab?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?

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  (312): Are you in a cab? (908): I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka? http://tfl.nu/9mwy
  Replies (3) Good night (2482) Bad night (875)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

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  (402): 2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America. http://tfl.nu/5vl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1603) Bad night (615)
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  (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

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  (858): He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/yvui
  Replies (12) Good night (2280) Bad night (660)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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  (614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0
  Replies (16) Good night (3821) Bad night (530)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.

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  (608): I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/n8yp
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (1078)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (480)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.

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  (928): Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating. http://tfl.nu/r7wa
  Replies (6) Good night (548) Bad night (477)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son

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  (920): it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son http://tfl.nu/82oe
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (326)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.

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  (203): Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today. http://tfl.nu/77td
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (220)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"

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  (781): And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME" http://tfl.nu/jmki
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (197)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

  (214): View more from Texas

  That's our motto every night.

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  (469): Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT. (214): That's our motto every night. http://tfl.nu/q8qi
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (232)

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