Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
