So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
