just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
