xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize