so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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