so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
