You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
