butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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