It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
