Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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