is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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