Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
