This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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