Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize