have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
