We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Randomize
