dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
