Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
