toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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