He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize