:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's shark week go big or go home
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
