come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
