I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
