my being single is dangerous.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
why is half of my head shaved?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
