I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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