Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
