I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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