alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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