Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
