I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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