I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
