closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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