I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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