she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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