and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
and she was petting her beer can
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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