i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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