I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
