Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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