yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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