Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
