You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
