I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
