God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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