No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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