At least make sure they are 18
Why
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
