bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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