lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
These tits shall not be calmed
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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