My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
